


Computerization

by I_will_say_oh



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 1990s, Alternate Universe - Human, Autism Spectrum, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, Hastur-centric (Good Omens), M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Office, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-09 05:06:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20507057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_will_say_oh/pseuds/I_will_say_oh
Summary: Hastur has a routine, unexceptional life of an ordinary office worker. Every day is like the last, but he likes that, and he doesn’t like surprises. So it comes as a real shock to him when his boss suddenly decides to introduce computers to the office – which he has never seen before.





	Computerization

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Компьютеризация](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20447129) by [Argo (I_will_say_oh)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_will_say_oh/pseuds/Argo). 

> What’s a computer?

Hastur stretched and gritted his teeth, making everyone else recoil as far away from him as the narrow elevator permitted. His morning had not started well and he, on principle, was hoping to spoil it for everyone else, too.

These office workers were the most boring and unhappy people that Hastur had ever seen. In his 23 years of work he had heard so many woeful tirades that he could have easily published a book, if he bothered to take notes. But despite the complaining, people kept on working. Only a few didn’t complain, and Hastur was one of them. He liked his work.

So what if every day was almost an exact copy of the last one? He was fine with that. Hastur was a man who didn’t like surprises and change, so a monotonous, unexceptional life with a nine-to-five job was more than perfect for him. Besides, there was nothing all that hard about typing reports and exchanging calls with other departments once in a while. Nothing new ever happened.

However, ever since he woke up, Hastur felt that this day would be different. Everything was as usual until he left home, and he even thought that maybe his hunch had been wrong. But as soon as he set foot outside, he crashed into a muddy splash wave from a giant puddle. Hatur pursed his lips, holding in all the choice curses that were ready to explode. There was nobody to hear them anyway – while he was standing there in shock, the culpable bus was already disappearing at the end of the street.

He couldn’t go to work in that condition, so, cursing all of creation, and especially shit-brained bus drivers and the godawful London weather, Hastur turned on his heel. Back home, though, he found out that his only clean, ironed shirt was now covered in brown smudges from the puddle and all of his fresh suits were still at the cleaner’s. He lived alone and didn’t always manage to collect them on time. So he had no choice but to put on a crumpled shirt he had no time to iron and a suit two sizes too small that he had worn ten years ago. Then he left again, caught a taxi and hurried to work, hoping not to be horribly late.

Another surprise was waiting for him at the office. Hastur didn’t divide surprises into pleasant and unpleasant because to him, all surprises were equally irritating. But if he did, this one would definitely have been a nasty one. He was late to work, but that didn’t matter so much now. On his desk was sitting a report that he did a few days ago and personally submitted to his boss. There must have been some problem if it had been returned. Hastur flipped through the pages and glanced at the red annotations. As far as he could remember, there were no mistakes in the report when he did it. Hastur, in general, rarely made mistakes, especially when it came to accounting. Everything was always in order – both in his head and on his desk.

He spent half the day, until lunch-break, trying to figure out what he did wrong. The data was completely in order and up-to-date, so he decided he had no choice but to ask his boss directly…

He ate his lunch in silence as always, with his boxed salad between the stapler and the phone on the common table, where he had called dibs on a chair long ago. Then he twirled his thumbs for twenty minutes until his boss could finally see him. He was told in an apologetic tone that yes, actually there were no mistakes in the report, the secretary must have mixed it up, blah-blah-blah, and Hastur had the overwhelming desire to smack his boss’s head with the folder. He bravely resisted. After a dry goodbye, he got out of the office, hoping the door behind him closed louder than usually.

During lunch, the quiet office turned into a… slightly less quiet office. Hastur didn’t normally join in conversations, but he listened carefully what the others were discussing. His colleagues’ whining cheered him up for some reason, as if he was Satan himself who had personally invented bureaucracy and was now enjoying the fruits of his labor. But today, something alarmed him in the stream of his colleagues’ consciousness. One phrase, dropped in someone’s personal conversation, made Hastur put away his fork and shift around looking for whoever had spoken.

Someone was saying that somewhere he heard it said that changes were impending and the office would have new equipment that will make dealing with all reports easier. Hastur’s ears perked up. Were they going to get new typewriters? That would be nice, his own had long ago stopped typing “H” properly.

***

Hastur’s office was so far from the elevator as to give him another reason to love his job. Thanks to its location, it was always quiet and nothing distracted him.

It was a small enough office with two desks. One of them was Hastur’s, and some time ago the other one had been assigned to a guy named Ligur. He had a calm personality and always talked to the point, which won him Hastur’s sympathy practically from day one. At some point, he learned that Ligur had been working at the company about as long as Hastur had. Hastur thought that was a shame, that they didn’t meet sooner. Everyone who had ever occupied that office had been unhappy with his silent company. Hastur’s boss regularly conveyed to him his coworkers’ complaints, apparently in an attempt to make him socialize with them more, and according to what they said, “they felt uncomfortable with the silence, which disrupted the work environment.” Hastur, for one, couldn’t understand how silence and quiet work could possibly disrupt whatever environment.

Ligur didn’t demand socializing of him. That was probably why it sprung up on its own, somehow, and unobtrusively became part of their work life.

“You already heard?” Ligur asked frowning as soon as he returned from lunch.

Hastur glanced at him over yet another report that he had started on after he stopped fuming about the nonexistent mistakes in the last one.

“Heard what,” he grumbled, going back to the report.

“We’re getting new equipment. They’re calling the whole thing “computerization.” There will be a meeting about it tomorrow,” answered Ligur.

He didn’t sound all that happy, but Hastur didn’t notice. He was sitting frozen. Then, realizing he won’t be able to keep working now, he carefully looked at his colleague. He didn’t know the word Ligur had used and was curious.

“What’s that then?”

Ligur, though, seemed to misunderstand the question.

“It’s progress,” he said in a strange tone and sat at his desk.

Hastur didn’t hear another beep from him. Ligur was concentrating on his work, or at least was pretending very hard.

The chameleon popped its head out of its hiding place in the aquarium on the wall and stared at Hastur who couldn’t concentrate on his report anymore. If it were up to him, he’d rather there were tropical frogs instead of a chameleon there. He had long been dreaming of getting some of those, but he never got around to visiting a pet-shop and getting all the stuff they’d need. But there was that one time when the boss had decided that their office was too empty and ordered them to get decorative fish. He even supplied the aquarium; the catch was that they were supposed to buy everything else out of their own pockets. Hastur was choking at their boss’s gall, but gritted his teeth and kept his mouth shut.

_“I had a pet fish as a kid,” said Ligur back then. “It died because I forgot to clean the aquarium. I suggest we get something sturdier, now that we have this thing here anyway” and he pointed to the dirty glass cube. Hastur even smiled, imagining how his frog dream would come true. However, the next day the aquarium was clean and inside was a creature with three fingers on each leg, and swirling its eyes in two separate directions._

_  
_

“What’s this,” he wheezed, stupefied.

“A chameleon,” answered Ligur casually, not looking up.

Hastur glared at him.

“But you didn’t even tell me you were going to get one. This is a shared office. And I wanted to put frogs there!”

Ligur finally looked at him and for some reason, Hastur’s heartbeat stuttered. It was the first time ever since they started working together that he encountered the abyss of his calm, almost black eyes.

“Yes, you’re right, I’m sorry,” said Ligur after a short silence during which Hastur felt himself first burn and then freeze.

_ Ligur said something else too, but Hastur didn’t hear him. As if sick, he sank in his chair, trying to digest the sudden influx of emotions. The chameleon that had appeared without his approval wasn’t important anymore. Ligur had very captivating eyes, and Hastur realized he had noticed them only now. Strange, how for all their time working together, their eyes had never met before. Maybe they had a point about him being bad with colleagues, if he had started to get to know the person working right next to him only after such a long time. Eventually, the strange feeling subsided and Hastur went back to the pleasures of work. He didn’t even mention the incident to Ligur again, and soon stopped being bothered about it himself._

***

There really was a meeting the next day. Hastur felt as if yesterday had unleashed some sort of wave of unfortunate events that would overwhelm him and bury him alive. The meeting was hard.

“Personal computers will make your work easier,” pontificated a man with a fake, strained smile. “Forget about typewriters, they’re so last century. The future is global computerization.”

The meeting dragged on for another ten minutes in which the fake smile man enumerated all the various advantages of computers.

The office where Hastur worked was pretty old and their boss was sometimes strikingly adept at crawling on everyone’s nerves, but despite all that, matters of organization progressed at amazing speed. Some people arrived after the meeting and put metal boxes under and on top of everyone’s desks. Hastur watched them in horror, not sure at all if he could handle the new technology. He had never encountered a computer in all 45 years of his life, and now, apparently, he would have to live with one right in his workplace. The ever-present order of his desk was now ruined. Hastur had to remove from it everything that had remained in its proper place for 23 whole years, and then find a way to fit it back. Only now most of his desk was occupied by the computer. He managed to find a new place for the folders and the calculator, but the feeling of perfect harmony was trampled. On top of that, they took away his typewriter, and Hastur felt ashamed for having complained of its faulty letter “H.”

Dropping his head in his hands, he sat there, trying to stop the panic. The order of things had changed, and that was never good.

Then came Ligur and clapped him on the shoulder. Hastur shuddered and sat straight, looking up at his colleague. And then, meeting careful, calm dark eyes, he looked away again.

“There’s a manual,” said Ligur, stepping to his desk and picking up a thick blue book that had been lying right next to the machine.

Hastur glanced at his own copy and reluctantly cracked it open.

He always thought that user manuals should be written in a language clear for the user. Maybe what he was holding was not an exception to this rule, but he hardly understood what it was saying. He managed to turn on the computer at the, give or take, sixth try, after figuring out what needed to be stuck in where, and how many buttons needed to be pressed to make one of the boxes start to hum. When everything was on, he even cracked a smile, feeling somewhat satisfied with his small victory. In his peripheral sight he noticed Ligur looking at him, hiding most of his face behind the manual. He realized he must have seemed very dim while trying to manipulate all those cables and had made his colleague laugh. He probably didn’t have any trouble with technology. Hastur blushed and smothered his smile, defiantly sticking his nose back into the manual. He didn’t manage to do anything further, though. The screen was resplendent with symbols and the manual didn’t really say what that meant or what to do with them. There was something about windows, but an increasingly despondent Hastur didn’t know how they worked. Ligur was also leafing through his manual with concentration written all over his face. Hastur remembered with shame the expression on his face from a while ago and decided against asking him for help, so that he wouldn’t have to blush more for his failure to keep up with modernity.

Eventually, he didn’t manage to get any work done. Good thing he didn’t have anything really urgent to do. So, two hours later, he gave up all hope of understanding anything in the blue book and dived into some calculations, getting lost to the world until the end of the work day. Good thing that he had always enjoyed and been good at maths. It was the reason he decided to go into economics.

When it was almost six o’clock, Ligur brought him out of his spell. Instead of saying goodbye and going home like any other day, he came to him and offered to go for some drinks. Hastur gave him an unfocused look, trying to turn reality back on and figure out why the sudden invitation. Eventually, he just asked.

“No reason,” said Ligur, smiling. “It was a rough day, a lot of new stuff, you know. Wouldn’t mind unwinding a bit, so I was going to have a drink myself. So, do you want to come with me?”

At first Hastur wanted to refuse, since he had not set foot in a bar in a really long time. He had even forgotten what it was like to have people you could talk to about things other than work. On top of that, it was only Wednesday. But on the other hand… The day really had been rough. Despite the calming calculations, he still felt a nervous tension and fear from the day he’d actually have to work with the new technology. He considered the offer and nodded curtly. He hoped that the rest of his day wouldn’t be completely ruined by agreeing to something so far out of his routine. However, Ligur seemed trustworthy – while Hastur had been considering if he should go or not, he just waited for his reply, didn’t rush him, didn’t even try to convince him. So the peace he felt around the man finally convinced him that he had taken the right call.

***

They got a couple of beers at a small and snug wood-paneled place. Hastur, who had been worried about crowds, calmed down. The only other customers were a group of men, already suitably drunk, but quietly so. The barman was silently minding his own business and a small TV set was on in the background. The place didn’t seem to be a very popular one, but it had a nice feel to it. Hastur mentally noted that Ligur had a good taste for places to relax. 

They sat at a small table near the wall, their knees practically touching. The soft settee was cool and comfortable. The cozy atmosphere was perfect for a lazy conversation. Hatur, who usually had trouble with that sort of thing, amazed himself when he realized he was sitting there, casually chatting with Ligur. He took a sip from his glass, glancing at the other man over its tip, and was struck once again by that feeling he got these days every time Ligur was close. It was as if they had known each other their whole lives and Hastur couldn’t be sure anymore that it wasn’t so. All that time when they had not known each other seemed like a distant dream that he was finally waking up from.

With that in mind, he felt the need to confess what had been bothering him the whole day.

“You know,” he said, putting his glass down on the table, “the truth is that I don’t know the first thing about computers.”

Ligur lowered his drink and looked at him in surprise. Hastur noticed good humor glinting in his dark eyes.

“I know,” Ligur said, “it’s obvious. But, to be honest, I also don’t understand a thing.”

Hastur stared at Ligur dumbfounded. Back at the office, he had taken the silent concentration for understanding. And now he felt how the whole day’s load was coming off his shoulders. He laughed, grabbed his glass and leaned on the small table, not caring if it would hold. Ligur huffed in the beer he was still holding and joined Hastur’s laughter.

It was a pleasure seeing Ligur like this. He was usually so serious and composed, but when he was laughing he was softer and more approachable. Maybe Hastur just imagined it, but he thought that there was a light shining in his eyes.

When the laughter died down, they looked at each other. Ligur was smiling softly and Hastur’s heartbeat pleasantly sped up at the tenderness in his eyes. The silence between them settled into an air of mutual sympathy. It was amazing how even after so many years lived in solitude, people still have a chance to find a soul mate; a person who could understand them perfectly. Breathless, Hastur gently leaned towards Ligur and for one moment, their lips gently touched. But it was long enough for the fire in Hastur’s chest to flare up, spreading its warmth all over his body, making his heartbeat resound in his ears.

***

They sat in the bar for a little while longer. Nobody was asking them to leave for closing. In fact, it seemed that nobody was paying them any attention. The drunken bunch was deep in conversation, the barman was cleaning glasses, and nobody cared about the weird pair in suits who couldn’t tear their eyes from each other.

“I think we should go,” said Ligur.

Hastur looked at his watch and agreed. Tomorrow was a workday, after all, and he had to get ready for it, physically as well as mentally. They paid their bill and got out into the street. The evening was a pleasant one. The cool breeze insinuated itself under his suit, forming a contrast with his well-warmed body.

They were strolling down the street and Ligur was calmly smiling. It seemed that he too was happy with their evening. Hastur felt change coming into his life, and that was perturbing. However, mixed with the usual anxiety, there was something else too, something lighter and sparkling inside his belly, something that made his heart thump joyously. Ligur had turned out to be a vital piece of the puzzle called “happiness,” and after so many years, he had finally found it. Tomorrow was trying to frighten him, looming overhead and shining from his memory with its incomprehensible icons, but every time Ligur gently touched his fingertips to the palm of Hastur’s hand while they walked, the fear receded, until it finally melted away before the sweet warmth in his body and heart.

“And this is where I live,” said Ligur and stopped in front of a pleasant-looking three-storied building.

For some reason, Hastur felt a little sad. There was no reason to be sad, since they would see each other tomorrow, after all. But still, he wanted today to last longer. Going home alone seemed like a terribly dreary prospect. Ligur was standing at the entrance, probably expecting him to say goodbye. Instead, Hastur took a step forward and held him tightly. Ligur gasped quietly and also held him, pressing his whole heated body to him.

“Do we absolutely have to say goodbye until tomorrow?” asked Hastur, still holding on to him tightly. The answer made his heart leap with joy.

“We don’t, if you don’t want to.”

Ligur was smiling up at him and Hastur couldn’t help an answering smile. They went in and climbed up the stairs to Ligur’s apartment.

It wasn’t unlike the one Hastur lived in, but in this one everything was cozily, if a touch chaotically, scattered around. There were none of the strictly arranged things like in Hastur’s place. That was the difference between them, he thought, Ligur was a comfortable sort of person, and that was probably what attracted Hastur to him when they first met. Hastur himself was too cold for the tastes of most people. Ligur, however, didn’t seem to have any problem with that.

“You want some tea?” he offered hospitably and Hastur nodded slowly, looking around and taking in the place.

In a bit, they sat on the sofa. While the tea was cooling on a low table, Ligur gave him another warm smile. It reminded Hastur that they were seated as cozily as they had been in the bar, only now there were completely alone. The setting was just made for easy conversation, it was all so nice that even the normally antisocial Hastur wanted to talk.

“You have a lovely apartment,” he said, hoping it didn’t come out as cheesy.

“Thanks,” Ligur replied, still smiling.

There was soft moonlight flooding in through the window and lighting the room, so they didn’t turn on the lights, perfectly content with the small island of light that the floor lamp created around them. Hastur was looking at Ligur, sitting right next to him. Pleasant warmth wrapped settled on them both, and the sweet tea completed the wonderful evening.

But there was a small glitch in the perfect peace. Hastur noticed how Ligur shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably when he was putting down his tea.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Yes, yes,” replied Ligur, slightly embarrassed, “sorry, it’s the desk work all day, it makes my shoulders kind of stiff.”

Hastur didn’t have to think twice before getting up and circling the sofa. When he put his hands on Ligur’s shoulders, he gave a soft gasp and turned around in surprise. But he saw that Hastur meant to help, so he smiled softly and let him rub his shoulders.

Hastur was careful, attentively rubbing the muscles with the palms of his hands. He was pretty sure the massage was helping, even if it was through the shirt. Hastur kneaded with his palms and fingers and sometimes they brushed against his neck, which made Ligur’s breathing hitch and grow quieter. Gradually, the friendly shoulder rub turned into something more intimate. Hastur himself felt a pleasant languor start spreading inside. The shoulders under his fingers were already relaxed, but he still continued gently caressing and rubbing them, simply enjoying the warm body under his hands.

At some point, when Hastur yet again trailed his palms from his spine up to his neck, Ligur moaned softly. He was probably just enjoying the massage and didn’t realize he did that, Hastur thought, but it didn’t stop him from feeling a fever run through his body. He stilled, barely touching his fingers to Ligur’s shoulders, when their eyes met. Ligur had turned around to look at him. His eyes were black and deep and the contained the reflections of the waxing moon. Hastur’s breath caught in his throat. He stepped around the sofa, not letting Ligur’s eyes go, and then stood still. He wanted to do something, but couldn’t bring himself to do it, or maybe he didn’t know what it was. Ligur smiled, took his hands, and pulled him to himself. Hastur slowly sat on his lap, hands on Ligur’s chest. Ligur was all warmth with a tinge of fading cologne. His chest was rising and falling under Hastur’s hands. Hastur looked at his slightly open, full lips, and when Ligur put his hands on the small of his back and pulled him closer, he leaned in and kissed them. Ligur answered the kiss and gently rubbed his back. They were pressed to each other, and for a moment, Hastur felt as if they existed as one now. So when Ligur touched his chest and started unbuttoning his shirt, he did the same.

The skin under the fabric was hot and a bit moist. Hastur caressed his collarbones and shoulders with his fingers, feeling solid muscle under his palms. Ligur nuzzled into his neck and covered it with kisses, trailing down to his shoulder and eliciting a quiet moan. Hastur closed his eyes, going by sensation now. There was a sweet calm in his chest and melting warmth lower down. He pressed himself even closer to Ligur, feeling his arousal, and answered Ligur’s kiss when he cupped his face and pulled him in. In a moment, Ligur’s hand was already sliding down to Hastur’s trousers, undoing his belt and then wrapping around his cock. Hastur moaned again and bent forward, leaning himself on Ligur’s shoulder. Ligur bit him lightly on the neck while freeing his own cock from his underwear and held them both in his hand.

The touch of another person’s soft skin to his own left Hastur breathless. He held on tightly to Ligur’s shoulders and stilled while he slowly started to move his hand, breathing a hot huff where his nose was pressed into his neck. Ligur’s lips gently teased a sensitive spot on his shoulder. Hastur surrendered entirely to the pleasant sensations all over his body and to Ligur’s wonderful ministrations. He was embracing him, one hand resting on the short, rough hair at the back of Ligur’s neck. Ligur sucked in the skin on his shoulder and he couldn’t help a moan.

The movement of Ligur’s hand continued to grow steadier and bolder. Hastur felt his orgasm coming on and only held even tighter to Ligur, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Ligur was pressing him to himself too, one arm wrapped around his back, and breathing unsteadily. On instinct, Hastur thrust his hips to meet Ligur’s movement, and in his chest, he could feel the loud thud of Ligur’s heartbeat. Just before he came, he heard him groan softly. It almost made him scream, and he spilled himself in Ligur’s hand, feeling tiny drops of sweat trickle down his stomach and soak into his undone trousers.

Hastur caressed Ligur’s cheek one last time, and breathing heavily, slid down next to him and pressed himself close. Ligur wiped his hand with a tissue and then pulled a blanket from somewhere and covered them both. He embraced Hastur and caressed his hair where Hastur had his head on his shoulder. His body felt like liquid bliss and he was too lazy to move even a finger. He left like a plush cloud. He would have liked to prolong that feeling more, but soon he remembered that tomorrow was a workday. He really didn’t want to leave, yet. Ligur, so warm and close, was combing his short hair with his fingers and it felt as if nothing outside of their sofa existed anymore – no work and offices, bosses or computers. For the first time, Hastur felt that change wasn’t all that bad, if it consisted of such nice things like connecting to Ligur. But work did exist, after all, and when the bliss withdrew, Hastur came to terms with the fact. He asked Ligur what came next.

“Stay,” Ligur told him lazily. Then he turned to him and looked him in the eyes. “Please.”

“Alright,” he replied simply. He was perfectly happy with the offer.

***

Next morning, they arrived together at work. As soon as Hastur got out of the elevator and got a whiff of his dearly beloved workplace, he was ready to spend another wonderful day of routine, accounts and predictable records. However, the moment he walked in his office, he was faced with his new metallic enemy and his mood slightly cooled. Talking to Ligur had made him feel as if now he was capable of dealing with such changes more easily, but he was wrong. The appearance of the computer had knocked him further off his rails than he expected and even the miracle of last night couldn’t fix that. The usual order of things was breaking down. The desk didn’t look like it used to. The chances that he would ever be able to figure out by himself how to use the new equipment were as good as zero. He always had trouble following the new trends. He tried to calm down, shuffling things on his desk and trying to make it look even remotely like it had done before. But nothing worked and Hastur dropped his head into his hands again, surrendering to his panic before the quietly humming computer.

“What if this is it?” he said with his face propped on the desk. Probably that was why it didn’t come out nearly as tragic as he had intended. “I’ll fail, and goodbye job. 23 years down the drain…”

“Hey,” Ligur quietly chided, getting up. “We need to talk to the boss. We can’t be the only ones who don’t understand how to use these things. By law, the company owes us free training for this.”

That consoled Hastur a little. He rubbed his face with his palms, getting himself together, and mentally prepared to defend the life he was used to; even if it was slightly modified now.

***

Their boss sized them up over through shiny glasses and gave them a very non-surprising reply which, however, raised Hastur’s hackles once again. As usual, their boss was all for starting stuff, but never once saw to it personally and left everyone else to deal with the consequences. Hastur sincerely did not comprehend how such a person could become a boss, but just as he was about to voice that opinion, Ligur suddenly sniggered. It gave Hastur pause and made their boss shut up in surprise mid-sentence.

“Is that what you said to those other employees, too?”

Hastur didn’t understand and stared at Ligur and at their boss who seemed to share his confusion.

“So what if I did?” the boss finally spat, getting nervous under Ligur’s stare. To Hastur’s utter delight, he made a dramatic pause before answering.

“It means,” Ligur said, “you can’t see even what’s right under your nose.”

Before their boss could open his mouth to protest, Ligur pointed back to the glass panel through which most of the office was visible. Hastur also looked that way and covered his mouth with his hand on reflex. All of the workers were gathered in the common space, but not for work or lunch. They were sitting down on chairs, like students, with grim warlike faces, listening to the equally warlike and very determined short young woman in front, the one with the spindly black hair. To appear taller and to add weight to her speech, she was standing on a desk.

“What’s going on?” wheezed their paling boss.

“Looks like mutiny,” Ligur chimed in casually.

“Is that your doing?” the boss seemed to be furious, face breaking into red splotches and menacingly turning to Ligur and Hastur, glaring at them.

“Not personally ours,” Ligur replied for both of them. He seemed to have a speech ready. “See, the whole department is unhappy with your leadership. Now, if you were to take some action, that would be another matter entirely. So what are you going to do – fire us all?” Hastur felt all blood drain from his face at those words. “Or maybe hire some people to teach us how to use the new tech? During working hours. _Paid_ working hours.”

“Bastards,” their boss said quietly after a short pause that seemed eternal to Hastur.

He followed after Ligur when he got out of the boss’s office, still confused about what had happened. Ligur, however, seemed happy.

“You’ll see,” he replied to his question.

The black-haired woman was still enrapturing the crowd when their boss came out, following the two of them, and said something to her. Hastur preferred to watch everything from afar, but Ligur pulled him closer when all of their colleagues started cheering and congratulating each other with their victory. There was a buzz and someone approvingly clapped him on the shoulder and Hastur couldn’t even tell who it was. He was looking around puzzled until he caught Ligur’s smiling gaze in the crowd.

“Why are they congratulating me?” he asked.

“Because you’re part of the team,” replied Ligur and handed him a tiny plastic cup of coffee from the dispenser. “Sorry, it’s the only thing available,” he added apologetically. Hastur took the offered cup anyway.

Being part of the team, even if it was a mutinous one, was, in fact, unexpectedly nice.

Soon, the excitement died down and everyone returned to their work. Their boss had promised to hire people for training. It was easier to get everyone to attend a qualification course than to hire a whole new team of professionals. Hastur glanced at Ligur.

“Did you know about the munity?” he asked, still sipping his coffee.

“Not really, but it was to be expected,” answered Ligur, shrugging. “With a boss like ours, it would have been weird if there wasn’t a mutiny.”

That got Hastur thinking. So after all, there was something he had in common with the other workers. They too didn’t like sudden change, and they too were upset about their inability to work like before. He smiled, really seeing them for probably the first time since he had started working there.

***

“I have a surprise for you,” said Ligur at the end of the workday.

It had been some time since the mutiny and Hastur was getting back to his usual rhythm. He still preferred to avoid active communication with his colleagues, but he didn’t look down on them anymore. In turn, they didn’t avoid him for being antisocial and even exchanged greetings in the elevator.

Hastur tensed at these words. He still had a sore spot for surprises, even if he wasn’t quite as mistrustful of them as before.

“What kind of surprise?” he asked unenthusiastically.

The screen made his eyes grow tired more quickly even than the small font of his old typewriter, but he had started to understand the basics of computers thanks to the new training. It happened every day during working hours and was paid, just as Ligur had demanded, so it was no great loss to Hastur that it took him away from his beloved work.

Ligur just smiled mysteriously and stood by the door, as always patently waiting for Hastur to get ready.

“You know very well that I don’t like surprises,” grumbled Hastur when they were out of the office.

“I know, but you’ll like this one, I promise,” replied Ligur.

They walked on through the London evening. The weather was warm and pleasant, but the unsettling feeling Hastur got at the word “surprise” didn’t let him enjoy any of it. He was sincerely hoping that at least it would be worth it.

“We’re going to your place?” he asked in surprise when they approached the already familiar door.

Ligur let him in first, smiling in anticipation. Hastur suspiciously squinted at him, but entered anyway.

“What do you have in mind?” he asked him when the door closed. “What’s here that I haven’t seen before?”

But his question hung in the air without an answer when he followed Ligur’s triumphant gaze. Then Hastur forgot how to breathe.

On the living room table, there was a big aquarium, happily glinting in lamplight. Inside it, on a log, among foliage and water, were sitting at least five orange-and-green spotted frogs.

“I remember you said that you wanted to have pet frogs,” Ligur replied to his silent amazement. “If you want, we can even move them to the office. There’s enough space, I measured it.”

“The surprise was a success,” was all that Hastur managed to say, barely able to believe that it had come out of his own mouth. Then he held Ligur tightly and said, “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> For the translation, I want to thank one very good person who chose to remain anonymous. Thank you very much. I'm very grateful to you!
> 
> Art https://gallifreytreeflower.tumblr.com/post/187536574804/a-little-free-illustration-to-my-own


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